“There is always light if only we're brave enough to see it…”

I haven’t written in a month, so I thought I’d update. My title is a line from 22 yr old Amanda Gorman’s amazing inauguration poem. So uplifting. Poetry is like prayer.

I needed to hear those healing words yesterday when President Biden sworn in. And the following is the reason why.

On Monday after a very busy day of scans and trying to get in to see a doc, I received the bad news that I have a 2 cm liver lesion. Dan and oldest son David with me. Also I have 2 new bumps on my neck that nurse practitioner said are disease. Because of disease progression, I’m off the clincal trial but have options. On Tuesday i made an appt. to see my oncologist here and will probably start new chemo next week with sacitumizab. It’s a targeted therapy so that makes me feel good. However side effects are low white counts and diarrhea . The clincal trial drug wasn’t a total bust—it kept my disease at bay for 8 months and allowed my white and red counts to return to normal.

The clincal trial drug had some bad side effects. I expect my back/lung fluid is from the drug. And newest CAT scan shows lung lining filling again. Hard to breathe and climb stairs. Also my weekly taxol gave me terrible peripheral neuropathy. I can barely write or dress myself. I hope my limbs can recover.

Nevertheless I feel pretty positive. I’m trying to see the light and am excited about this upcoming year.