Atypical!

When I got on the scale this morning and saw that I had lost about 4 pounds over a month (or more)—TRYING— I was elated. I had gotten up to 131 which is high for me but then again I haven’t had steroids for two weeks either—just my 4 oral chemo tabs daily and radiation last week, which went well btw. The doc was delighted over how the plan lined up when I got on the table. 2 sessions and it was over. I felt a tiny bit of pain in my lower back after first day but that was it!

The first sentence of this paragraph & blog begin my list of how I’m not typical. I want to lose weight! Do you know how much cottage cheese, salads and smoothies I’ve eaten? No desserts. Very few chips and I walk when it’s dang hot. Along with the trying to lose weight, I’m hungry all the time despite a pharmacy of drugs.

The second way I’m a bit atypical, is that I love wearing wigs! So much fun. I’d rather have my hair back but it’s great not having to bother w/ washing, styling, etc. And the colors! So many to choose from. But I have to get used to the idea I’ll probably never have hair again

The third way I’m different is that unlike most breast cancer patients, my cancer doesn’t want to resolve. 3 years of this and with each treatment I think I’m cured. Nope.

I’m at Sarah Cannon today for my Monday chemo.

On August 3 I get a full body scan and cat scan. If my cancer is gone I will still have to stay on this regime of chemo because the cancer is gone. Weird, huh? I’m stuck on this forever unless they find a cure or study ends. Or of the scan is bad I’ll go with a standard of care drug that’s been approved by fda but that might kill me bc those are tough on white counts.

Sigh. My husband and Anne, his sister, worked on a difficult Star Wars puzzle of Yoda (whom I slightly resemble now) over weekend. The color changes were so subtle. 1000 pieces! I figure that’s the way it is trying to figure out how to treat this cancer. Lots of hovering. But they finished after persisting! (And may I have the wisdom of a Yoda to make good decisions.)

Last week pretty Kelly Preston (wife of John Travolta) died of breast cancer at 57 after a 2 year struggle. Cancer is no respecter of people—status, fitness, fame. That depressed me (as well as hearing a 37 yr old with 2 toddlers w/ Tnbc here just died after 2 yrs) but I’m resolved to survive and not be a typical triple negative statistic.