Might As Well Eat Donuts

I rarely eat sweets unless they’re really great desserts. I haven’t had a whole donut in maybe 30 years. Now I’m rethinking that strategy. In fact I’m wondering if maybe I should take up smoking, sunbathing and couch-sitting since my healthy life-style doesn’t seem to help.

My biopsy on Monday came back positive meaning the cancer is on my skin below my mastectomy scar. Dr. Midis, my hero, did the biopsy in the office (Ouch!) —Elizabeth was with me. He said it was “concerning” so I knew it wasn’t going to be good news. Fortunately I had taken a pain pill before, so it wasn’t too bad. He said we were going to need to bring out the big guns. Baffled, I thought, what are the big guns? I thought the A&C are the big guns.

My husband Dan thinks the cancer floating around is not getting the drug because I had so many vessels cut in my surgery as they moved my back muscle to the front. He thinks my saving grace for this skin/breast cancer is radiation since it’s in my lymphatic system and microscopic.

So I had a pet scan on Friday and had a comedian nurse Will who hooked me up to the IV and prepared me for the radioactive/glucose stuff they gave me. Cancer loves sugar so the glucose causes cancerous areas to light up.

After I registered for facility, Will called my name to come into the Pet Imaging area. He said, “ Deb, we’ve got work to do!”

Then he hugged me. A Big Hug. A big guy. Then he said, “See? Now we’re starting an interracial relationship.. “ I followed him back to examining room and I asked if my friend Polly could come with me and he said yes. I left my purse on the floor and he said, “Don’t leave your purse with a black man. “ Funny guy and I couldn’t quite figure him out. I found out from chatting he was the first African American nurse to be hired in Knoxville. He said he had done his nurses’ training in San Antonio after doing a stint in the military. I must say he was great at sticking my small veins. Got it on the first poke. He continued his shtick the whole time. He said, “ I just love my job. I get to stick white people.” When going down the list of ailments, he said, “Sickle cell anemia?” I looked up and he smiled broadly. I’ve had three pet scans and he told me info about them no other nurse has ever told me—for example, don’t hold a child on your lap for 16 hours because you’re radioactive in abdomen area because you drink water before scan and hold it in your bladder for an hour.

After two hours the scan was completed and they gave me disk so Dan could read at home. He’s not an expert but at least he could see if cancer had metastasized. It will be officially read on Monday. I hope. What Dan saw was the area we expected. Several spots where I had my mastectomy but what surprised him and shocked me was that bone on left hip lit up. Not good but I refuse to believe it’s spread. . I’m on neulasta a drug stimulating bone growth so I’m hoping that’s what it is.

We will know more after the experts read the scan. I went back to my March pet and there was no mention of any area of concern in bones or hip and I’ve had chemo almost constantly since then.

It’s a game changer, and I would be lying if I said I’m not worried. It’s scary to contemplate facing this the rest of my life. But again I refuse to believe it’s spread—it defies logic.

The adventure continues. I’ve been hiding out eating some Godiva chocolate, caprese salad with my new tomatoes, playing (from a safe distance) with my kids and 4 grands (2 of whom flew to town for weekend), and binging on “Stranger Things” and “Dark.” Monday can’t come fast enough.